Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You're so nebulous sometimes
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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