Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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