yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
