dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
