I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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