The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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