Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
