I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
So vagazzling was a success
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
