I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
