The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
