You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
I did not marry a roomba.
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