Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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