i just sent this text using only my big toe
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
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