No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
