just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
