We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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