dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
