i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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