we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
