in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
