Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
