I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
