so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
People with herpes should wear stickers.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
