im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
