if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
