she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
