The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Life is so much better after having sex.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
