just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
