i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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