I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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