I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
