i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
