so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
