Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
