my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
