Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize