Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Randomize
