I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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