Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
