Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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