Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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