yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You were trust falling into bushes
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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