Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just gift wrapped bread.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
