I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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