i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
