My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
