You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
