yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize