cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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