If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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