and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
