meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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