he wants to bone in the snuggie
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
