What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
