Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize