Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
