I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
