shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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