Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize