Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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