My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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