DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
