Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
